Releasing the Need to Change Your Partner
Relationships • 18m
You might notice that certain tendencies or habits that your partner has really get under your skin.
You might find yourself wishing and wanting them to change, only to feel frustrated when they don't readily adopt your ideal habits.
Sometimes it can feel like even when we point something out lovingly they STILL don't make the change...which creates even more frustration on our end.
If we can make space for our partners to evolve at their own pace and support their evolution, they then feel safe enough to grow and change.
This is not something we can micromanage or force. (Rationally, we even know that no one is perfect and everyone has their little quirks!)
If we can lead by example by focusing on our own habits and showing up from a place of confidence and strength, our partners just might eventually feel inspired to follow suit. ("Hey that looks fun... I want to do it that way, too!")
However, we can't force a flower to blossom by criticising, judging, or nagging or WISHING it would act differently: we can simple tend and support the flower to be uniquely and wonderfully itself.
Of course, you can compassionately let your partner know that a certain habit is triggering, how it makes you feel, why it matters to you, and then make a request for a compromise. You'll notice it's much easier to have both of your needs met in a way that supports greater connection, communication, and teamwork.
This doesn't mean they will change right away or do it perfectly every time, but you've made your request and your partner is doing their best to honor it while still allowing space for human mistakes, forgetfulness, and falling back into deeply ingrained habits.
(We are only human after all, including your partner!)
Take some time to really notice what irks you about your partner. Be there now and feel what comes up when you notice them doing that thing or acting in that way...
Then, after tapping on what's coming up in this dynamic, do any new perspectives arise? Share below!
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